Children of the Quorn

Okay, armed with my new resolution to find meat substitutes, I head to my local Food Lion for a quick trip before the snow sets in. It's been redesigned not to long ago, so it has a farmer's market style and a hip new pricey little organic section. I'm thinking there's got to be a ton of meat substitute stuff in there, right? Lot's of soy happiness that's got to taste better than cardboard, right? I felt....lost. Standing there, mouth gaping open, recognizing very little. I shuffle back to the meat section, thinking maybe by the ground beef or turkey there'd be a miraculously tasty little tofu concoction. Nothing. But it's not like I could look for long as the back aisle has become a new version of the bumper cars. Little old ladies jousting each other for the last loaf of bread and gallon of milk while macho men snag Doritos and beanie weenies and talk about the big game. A major snow storm and the Super Bowl is not the time to peruse at any grocery store. I keep getting bumped further down the aisles.

Still nothing.

I feel....frustrated. Confused. Hopelessly inept. I make it to the bread aisle and at least grab some whole wheat bagel thins for what I'm hoping will be sloppy Joe's for dinner. I zig zag ten aisles around shoppers growing grumpier by the minute (did someone say they saw a few snowflakes in the parking lot? Heavens, hurry!). Finally, I'm back to the refrigerated organics. Chik n' stuff. Rice Dreams. Soy Milk. No hormones. Healthy right? I can at least mix it until it tastes "normal," right? I scan one last time...and the heavens open....

QUORN! quorn?

Mycoprotein great for burgers and sloppy Joes. YES! Sloppy Joes! There is a God and he makes Quorn...in Europe! From....what? what's a mycoprotein? Some fungi that grows in the company's back yard? Fine. Okay. Let's face it...how many years have I been pouring saturated fats into my thighs? Can't be worse than that, can it? Live life on the edge! I run to the checkout, buy my goodies, and rush home.

My son looks at me like there's lobsters growing out of my ears. And yet, to his credit, we open the microwave heated (it's already cooked! Heavenly!) package of Quorn and see....ground beef? Looks like ground beef. Smells kinda like it. FEELS like it. We taste it.

HALLELUJAH!

How do they do that? Whatever a mycoprotein is I'm loving it! MY FIFTEEN YEAR OLD LOVES IT! In it goes into the heating pan of sloppy Joe sauce then onto my healthy whole wheat buns that will hopefully keep the fat off my buns! My hubby, Jack, comes home...tries it...has NO idea that it's not meat! Oh Quorn how do I love thee, let me count the ways! There is hope for this baffled little veggie newbie!

Now, YOU go to the store and buy some Quorn....I'm going to do a little Googling and learn what my meaty little mycoproteins are. Children of the Quorn, unite!